People are People

I continue my exploration of the feminine aspects of myself and the world around me with an excitement and wonder I have not felt since I was a young child. Since I have embraced this side of myself I have experienced a renewed energy and appreciation for my life. I have learned to accept myself as is and treat myself with the respect and dignity I deserve.

I find myself overwhelmed at times. Each day I delve deeper and deeper into this once suppressed pool of my psyche. The terms “man” and “woman” are losing their meaning to me. Of course I still recognize the separation between masculine and feminine archetypes in the world but I’m finding that it has very little to do with gender. Lately I am of the mind that gender, like beauty, is only skin deep. At least the way we chose to perceive and define it. Over the course of our history most human culture have assigned men and women very strict “gender roles” through means of culture, religion, government, etc. Here are a few examples of what I mean when I say “gender roles”: The idea that women are more emotional than men, or that men who cry a “girlie” or weak. This kind of thinking in itself is very misguided in my opinion. Let’s say a father witnesses his son crying and like so many before him, he tells his son to “man up” and stop crying. Why? Because the man obviously feels that crying is a sign of weakness and he is trying to teach his son to be strong. An admirable enough intention but consider the fact that this father is now either consciously or subconsciously telling his child that by showing emotion he is weak and that by “manning up” he will become superior. Superior to what? Well in the subconscious mind, superior to females.

This kind of thinking goes both way. Case in point: “Men are stupid.”, “Men are dogs”, “Men cheat.”.

All of these statement imply impulsive attitudes that spare little thought when it comes to problem solving and decision making.

Why is it that we seem innately conditioned to believe that only women can be emotional, cry, have a flamboyant fashion sense, etc, and only men can be touch, vulgar, thick headed, and impulsive? I have met some extremely stubborn and impulsive females and girls that farted louder than any male I’ve ever heard. I have met males (myself included) who prefer to wear makeup and cute, colorful undies and who cry when the hero dies in a movie (Or in my case at the end of Star Wars: Return of the Jedi.)

Does the fact that I am “in touch with my feminine side” and virtually a full time crossdresser change the fact that I am a biological male? Of course not. No amount of makeup, nail polish, skirts and frilly underwear will ever change that nor will having bad table manners remove the “feminine” from a biological woman.

I do not wish to see one sex put on a pedestal and considered superior over the other. The sexes are both equally important and uniquely beautiful in a myriad of ways. I have chosen to walk with The Goddess because this is where I have found comfort and happiness. The love and acceptance that I feel has washed away much of the guilt of my past life. It is my sincerest hope that all my fellow human beings can find the same release whether it be walking with The Goddess, The God, by yourself or whatever you choose. It is so very important to be true to yourself. NEVER be ashamed of who you are. If you are living life and not impeding the lives of others then you are living decent and should feel no shame. Never let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t be who you are…that you are broken or wrong. Who are they to lump their definition of what is “right” or “wrong” on your shoulders. “Right” and “wrong” are matters of perspective. We all know deep down how we feel about “good” and “evil”. Deep down we all know…it’s just a matter of who chooses to listen and who chooses to ignore.

If you are reading this and you have something about yourself that you are hiding because you feel your family or friends will not understand, if you cry yourself to sleep sometimes not knowing if you’re normal or a freak, if you spend your nights alone because you feel society has disowned you, if you feel persecuted for nothing more than just existing as you are, I want you to know that you are not alone. I have hidden from the same judgmental eyes, I have cried the same tears, I have endured the same cold nights, I have felt that persecution. You are not alone. YOU are beautiful and unique and deserving of the most you can get out of life. I think it is so important for me to make people aware of that fact…so many people are barely hanging on. They feel drugs or suicide will be the only solution. I know all to well and I wish so badly I could be there with you, to take you in my arms and let you sob until you had no more tears left. I know that not very many people read this blog but for those of you that do and any of you who this particular piece might apply to, please, if you ever feel compelled to make a rash decision or feel that you need to run away or just need someone to talk to, send me an email. You will not receive any judgment or criticism. Only love and understanding.

twitchy1333@gmail.com

One of the hardest lessons I have been confronted with in life was learning to love myself. It seems so narcissistic and egotistical at first but trust me, it’s one of the best decisions you will ever make. I wish all of you all the love in the world.