Kink?

So my heroin addiction pretty much robbed me of any sexual libido whatsoever. I literally gave no fucks about sex. Heroin feels so much fucking better anyways and you don’t need another person involved to feel it. Well, when I got on methadone I was pretty much ready to say goodbye to my sex drive all over again because methadone is just pharmaceutical grade heroin but uh..it came back. With a vengeance. I’m busting nuts like a squirrel, logging into my fetlife and, yo, I’ve had a bunch of people express interest in me on that fucking black voodoo magick of a website since I started my profile back up. Sooooo much fucking better than Facebook dating. People actually think I’m attractive and want to meet up! I’m not used to that shit! I’m used to being a drugged out walking bag of dirty needles and despair! I have a whole new world to explore because I really don’t even know what I’m into besides drugs. Sex has never been a priority for me. I shot up meth before I ever lost my virginity and got into smack shortly after. This is just me being real. Drugs feel way fucking better. I’d rather be high than laid any day. I DO NOT FUCKING LIKE THE IDEA OF MAKING MYSELF VULNERABLE TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING IN THAT WAY. AT ALL. For a long time I thought of being subject to your own desire and that of another human as a weakness. I’ve had my heart broken a couple of times and that was enough to turn me off of that shit all together. Drugs don’t break your heart. Drugs are honest. Drugs are consistent. People are not. So I’m very weary about this shit. Masturbation is one thing. I’m entering what I view as very dangerous territory if I follow up on this shit so I kind of don’t know how to go about it. Part of my problem is once I have a connection with someone the tendency is to fall into emotions and get carried away. Fall in “love.” That is just one of many pathetic weak scum fuck tendencies that go along with this body and mind. I fucking hate it. I wish I could kill it. It makes me a slave.

Yea, heroin is safer.